I am a leaf on the wind; watch how I soar.

I start with a wait how do you know my- before I look down at the tag on the end of the lanyard-shaped corporate noose I wore around my neck, or at least this is what I say when I try to be funny and witty and anarchistic, because those are cool things to be. I rather like the blue of my lanyard. The picture on the tag is blank-faced and mildly stunned, like a deer caught in the headlights of a steady eight-hour-a-day five-day-a-week corporate job with moderate at best career advancement opportunities. Or, in other words, the most blindingly average average you could imagine.